


But Didn't We Have Fun?

by illustriousprotagonist



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Band Break Up, Break Up, Emotional Hurt, M/M, One Shot, Sad, this hurts my heart to write im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 19:50:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7545717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illustriousprotagonist/pseuds/illustriousprotagonist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard and Frank knew their relationship was over before it was said.</p><p>Based on the song "Fun" by Coldplay and Tove Lo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But Didn't We Have Fun?

“ _I know it's over before she says_  
_I know the falls that the water face_  
_I know it's over, an ocean that waits_  
_For a storm_  
_The sun on snow_  
_Rivers in rain_  
_Crystal ball can foresee a change_  
_And I know it's over_  
_A parting of ways_ _  
And it's done.”_

Frank and Gerard were toxic, destructive to each other. Their love was burning, passionate, a ball of massive energy. Their shared kisses on stage were hard and painful, crushing and detonating.

Gerard practically invented every excuse for staying with Frank, even through the band’s hard times. He got pretty creative over a period of time. The relationship was giving him every reason to leave, but Gerard tried to ignore them: like a lovesick fool or a drug addict dying from an overdose. Even if he died, if Gerard let Frank kill him, he would still make an apology for him to use.

Frank should’ve given Gerard something to hold on to, like a false hope or a beautiful lie; then, maybe, things would’ve gone differently. Maybe Frank would have changed and let them grow into something beautiful and healthy.

Or, maybe, Gerard would have finally let Frank crush him into a million pieces, like a broken photograph taken from an obituary.

 

“ _But didn't we have fun?_  
_Don't say it was all a waste_  
_Didn't we have fun?_  
_Oh-oooh-ooh_  
_From the top of the world_  
_The top of the waves_  
_We said forever, forever always_  
_We could have been lost_  
_We would have been saved_  
_Oh, I-aaah_  
_Now we're stopping the world, stopping it's spin_  
_Oh come on don't give up_  
_Don't say we give in_  
_Don't say it's over_  
_Don't say we're done_  
_Oh, didn't we have fun?_  
_Woo-ooh-ooh-ooh_  
_Woo-ooh-ooh-ooh_ _  
Oh, didn't we have fun?”_

The rift between the band was growing. Even though Gerard was with Lindsey, he and Frank were still fooling around. And even though Frank was with Jamia, they couldn’t seem to let each other go.

With each passing week the band recorded and argued, Gerard’s mind became more clear, more resolute: as if the growing physical pain between them had somehow become an emotional chasm.

In the studio, as Gerard looked at Frank, he didn’t see the man he fell in love with before. He saw a man, yes, but it wasn’t someone he knew. Gerard saw someone who was destroying him, someone who was tearing him down from the inside out.

But, even after everything, neither could let the other leave. They were tearing each other down as they went along, like the scripted lines of a play: a terrible, tragic play.

 

“ _I know it's over before she says_  
_Know someone else has taken your place_  
_"I know it's over," Icarus says to the sun_  
_The sword sinks in, lightning strikes_  
_And two force, two forces collide_  
_And fight til it's over, fight til it's done_ _  
Ah-ah-ah.”_

Gerard said he loved Frank, and Frank took him at his word. It was true, perhaps too true, however. He said he was his soulmate, and over the years, Gerard became a part of the foundation of Frank’s personality. But Frank knew the words he said were detrimental to the relationship, and Gerard knew his words would be their downfall as well.

Their relationship was over before anyone took notice.

The sex was great, but that was all it was: just sex. The kisses were filled with nothing but lust, no love nor passion as they used to. It was obvious they were using each other to fill holes in their lives.

For example, when Gerard was on a bender and could hardly form words, Frank was there. Frank was there to keep him on the straight and narrow.

And, when Frank was doubting himself and using hate to fill the lyrics, Gerard steeled him, showing him the world’s beauty and wonder. The anger blossomed into something amazing.

But, soon, those hateful lyrics Frank wrote were just that: hateful lyrics. Gerard, one day, didn’t care enough to show Frank the beauty of life, didn’t mind that Frank was taking his anger out with music. The lyrics made their way into songs, and finally, the band was nothing more.

 

“ _But didn't we have fun?_  
_Don't say it was all a waste_  
_Didn't we have fun?_  
_Oh-oh_  
_From the top of the world_  
_The top of the waves_  
_You said forever, forever always_  
_We could have been lost_  
_We would have been saved_  
_Oh, I-aaah_  
_Now we're stopping the world, stopped it in its tracks_  
_But nothing's too broken to find a way back_  
_So before it's over, before you run_  
_Ah, didn't we have fun?_  
  
_Cause you and me_  
_We were always meant to, always meant to be_  
_We were always meant to, always meant to_  
_You and me_ _  
We were always meant to, always meant to be.”_

And, even so, Frank and Gerard were filled with the false expectation that, one day, one would say something to set their fallen love airborne once more. But that day never came. Either Frank or Gerard would be too hesitant to say something, but they still cared.

Until neither cared anymore.

Frank and Gerard were destined to be together, yes, but they were not destined to be together forever. Of course, they whispered sweet nothings to each other as they laid in their bed after a passionate night of lovemaking, but those nights meant nothing soon enough.

“I’ll always be here, Gerard,” Frank would say.

“Forever?” Gerard would ask in reply.

“Forever,” Frank would say back.

But forever never came.

But, like every giant star, its energy is used up faster and faster until it goes out.  
Their love was a bright, burning star. The biggest star, even. Their love put the sun to shame.  
As every star dies, so do the planets that revolve around it.  
As Gerard and Frank’s love died, so did the band. The band found it best for everyone to be no longer.

 

“ _But then_ _  
_ _Maybe we could again_.”

After the breakup, Frank and Gerard found each other to be no more than a silhouette, as if they walked from a photograph and left behind blackness. There was the constant ache that came and went, always returning in quiet moments.

Frank wanted so much to keep Gerard close once again, to laugh and talk like they once did and to know that Gerard’s absence is down to him. But Frank would pray that Gerard knew nothing good would come of their “love” ever again, that Frank would rather take the pain sooner than later.

 

 _Maybe in a few years we could be together again, close, happy,_ Gerard thought _. Then we could have something that is actually good, that has a chance of lasting_.

He saw Frank everywhere he went, smelled him in his sheets and clothes, still smelled him even though Lindsey was sleeping next to him. And even though Frank was gone, happy, his aura still remained, beautiful and strong, making all Gerard’s pain worse, keeping the feelings so raw.

 

 _In time_ , Frank thought, _I’ll learn to cope, I always do_. He prayed at night, sleeping next to Jamia, that Gerard knew he still cared. _In your tough times_ , he prayed, _know that I still love you, that I’d come running the second you need me, but for now our paths are forked and every step is weighted_.

  
Maybe lost love was all it took for real love to blossom and grow once more.


End file.
